Taking the Plunge

I looked out at the cliff before me and, eyes closed, took a deep breath. I wanted to try it if it was the last thing I did. I shivered as the breeze hit my skin. It was cold, almost painfully cold, and I knew if I didn’t do it soon I would lose all the courage I had tricked myself into believing I posessed on my climb up to the top. The second I peered over the edge, wondering what was below, that thought was confirmed. The cool, glassy water that had seemed so inviting from the beach now glared at me ominously, almost menacingly. The light shiver I had became a more violent trembling, caused by my innate fear of heights. The drop might have seemed small to the others, only twenty feet, but it looked like miles to me.

                “Vamos! Jump!” the people behind me yelled, but I was frozen. A million excuses as to why I would have to climb down raced through my head as my stomach twisted in knots, but all I could think about was how disappointed in myself I would be if I didn’t do it. I couldn’t let them know I was scared. “Just jump,” I told myself. “It can’t be that bad. Other people have done it and lived.” But I didn’t want to fall. I hated the idea of leaping into the air without knowing exactly how and where I would land, and it was so hard to let go.

                “Uno, dos…” They were counting, and the added pressure of the audience got my adrenaline pumping. By the time they got to three my legs had already decided it was going to happen, I felt my body lurch forward and at the command “VAMOS!” I left the ground. I was flying, and not by choice. I was so shocked I couldn’t even muster a scream. I watched myself flail downwards, as ungracefully as humanly possible, and remembered only at the last second to point my body so I wouldn’t feel the punishing slap of the water.

                When I surfaced again, the only thing I felt was alive. I hadn’t died! I tilted my head back, finally relaxing, and laughed at how unnecessary my momentary terror had been. I leaned back and savored the moment, allowing the water to hold me while the sun kissed my face. In that moment, I didn't have to think, or worry, or care about anything in the world; I could just BE.